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By Sam Macrory - 5th May 2011
Less than 24 hours before ballot boxes opened for the local elections and the referendum, yesterday's prime minister’s was far removed from a muscle-flexing boxers’ weigh-in.
The chamber was quiet, with Labour benches notably ill-attended as many groggy MPs – a 4am finish on the finance bill debate, as had happened that morning, is enough to leave anyone with a sore head – having already fled for their constituencies.
Those who remained saw Ed Miliband, their leader, stick to his favoured ‘broken promises’ attack with a series of questions on police redundancies and tuition fees. Easy hits, he would think, but David Cameron was doing a frustrating job of suppressing his temper as he preferred the part of well-mannered schoolboy to that of the bulling prefect.
No “calm downs” and no “basil brushes” here; even Ed Balls, the shadow chancellor with an addiction to winding up the prime minister, looked distinctly bored. Given Chris Huhne’s reported sub-Paxman (according to George Osborne) interrogation of his Conservative colleagues’ campaigning style on electoral reform, Miliband went surprisingly easy on the energy secretary.
The ‘man-on-manoeuvres’ (© all political pundits) was merely reminded that where once “we used to have two parties working together, now we have two parties threatening to sue each other.” Huhne looked rather happy with the name-check.
Cameron just about mustered the energy to wheel out the familiar “it was Labour that left us in this mess line” before, tiring of the exchange, he settled on a list of coalition achievements. “More! More!” cheered his MPs. Miliband’s own party looked gloomy, but if they felt despondent then a face opposite reminded them how fleeting their troubles are.
Where once Nick Clegg, the deputy prime ministers still chained to Cameron’s side, would nod earnestly to every prime ministerial boast, yesterday a look of weary disinterest was plastered on his face. Not angry, just very, very disappointed.
Barring something extraordinary, Clegg will face a series of disastrous local election results and lose the referendum. Little wonder that not one of his party colleagues made a pitch for their own local councils or sneaked in a last ditch plea for electoral reform.
Instead Conservative MPs sprung up like meerkats to promote their own “waste-cutting and efficiency-boosting” (that was Stephen Mosely’s Tory-run townhall in Chester) local council or kick a “slash-and-burn approach” (Labour’s Hounslow, booed Tory MP Greg Hands). And on and on and on.
A furious Chris Bryant, immobile in his dazzling red plaster cast after a sporting leg break, flayed around angrily. “This is prime minister’s questions not local elections – shut up!” he shouted. Nobody listened.
What about the big issues of the day? Libya? Osama bin Laden? That referendum on electoral reform? Not with council votes to be won. The cycle was broken with unmemorable contributions: Kelvin Hopkins had an out of body experience as he asked whether the PM would “enjoy saying goodbye to most of his colleagues”, while Rory Stewart left everyone confused with a cryptic question on finding a “different narrative” to mark the Queen’s jubilee and the Olympics.
Mary Glindon prodded the prime minister with a question on Cameron’s “beleaguered deputy”, but the prime minister wasn’t playing. “Of course, we do not agree about the future of our electoral system” he replied primly, leaving his MPs gasping like goldfish as the chance to cheer their beloved first-past-the-post passed by. At least he told Labour’s Jack Dromey to apologise “for the fact he was the winner of an all-woman shortlist”. Even a few Labour MPs seemed to enjoy that one.
Bob Russell – “Come on Bob!” came the familiar cry from the Labour benches – tried his best. At the general election in Essex 49 per cent of people voted Tory but 95 per cent of the seats went to Conservatives, he announced before pausing theatrically. “It was an outcome that would embarrass Robert Mugabe” he announced triumphantly.
Cameron refused to be tempted. “In Colchester everyone had one vote, it was counted once and he won. I congratulate him” the prime minister replied. Russell’s guns with spiked with Blue flowers. Nick Clegg, eyes sunken, stared at the carpet. No weigh in required. The loser was obvious from the start.
Article Comments
I think it is high time to sack all those politicians who, for whatever reason, fail to keep the promises they make at the election time. They cannot be trusted.
Also sack the MPs who were involved in false expenses claims. They are short of integrity.
Nanak Garg
6th May 2011 at 12:05 pm
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