The month long disappearance of Silvio Berlusconi was explained yesterday: Italy's prime minister was recovering from plastic surgery to remove the bags from his eyes.

Rumours had previously swept Rome that the billionaire media baron was seriously ill and an entire team of radiologists and cardiologists had been helicoptered into the grounds of his villa in Sardinia in the middle of the night.

Meanwhile a senior member of the Spanish Socialist Party has described Tony Blair as "a complete dickhead" [un gilipollas integral].